This past week has sucked, big time.
And yes, for the record I refer to our pug Coco as my baby. And my actual baby is still being called my baby even though she’s technically a toddler but I’m in denial.
Not only has Adelyn been ill, but Coco also had emergency surgery on Monday morning (tip: do NOT let your husband let your dog eat leftover corn on the cob as a treat – it will get stuck in their stomach and will get messy and painful).
So both girls have been in serious need of TLC.
Coco’s nicely on the mend and is already back to being excited for meal times and gentle walks around the block. She’s been sitting next to Adelyn at every opportunity, almost protective-like.
With Adelyn – it’s “just” a cold virus but never in the past (almost) 15 months have I been so scared for our little one. A week on from the first symptoms and she’s had a temperature rising to 40.1C and dropping to 34.6C, hours of screaming in some sort of unknown agony, dwindling to non-existent appetite and refusing to drink anything but from the boob, many calls to 111 and an early morning trip to the Urgent Care Unit.
And I was dealing with that whilst working (from home).
So why am I writing this post? I guess I just wanted to reassure other working parents out there that it is shit and scary and stressful – y’know, safety in numbers, you’re not alone, sisterly solidarity whoo!
I’ve spent the past week feeling guilty for neglecting my team, and then guilty for neglecting my girls because I was worrying about neglecting my team, ad infinitum.
I spent nights and early mornings comforting Adelyn and fretting about tasks to get done for work for the next day.
Balancing my responsibilities at work and at home has been really tough. I’ve cried more than I have in a while out of sheer frustration – it’s been terrifying to see Adelyn’s little body lose weight and keep on top of emails (and in our company, there are an inordinate amount of emails that come in).
But it’s in these tough times that you gain perspective, and it makes you so grateful for all the things you usually take for granted.
I’ve missed her smile, her laughter, her voice, her naughty curiosity about everything. Do you have any idea how much harder it is to change the nappy of a child that is thrashing around in extreme anger at the world for giving her nasty germs?? (Actually it’s not that different from a child that wants to roll away to explore, and will loudly indicate that she will not tolerate having a clean bottom if it means she has to stay still for 20 seconds)
These are the things I’m grateful for:
- that my company allow me to work from home
- that I’ve been able to offer comfort to my baby (for us, it’s breastfeeding)
- that Adelyn and Coco have a doting father who will cuddle and feed and nurture them given any chance
- that I live doors down from my Mum and her partner – giving me a break from cabin fever and feeding us – I have tremendous respect for single parents out there holding down a job with a sick little one – this past week would’ve been near impossible without them
- that my dad came to cook a nutritious meal for us all after hearing that the girls were poorly
- that I have some truly lovely friends out there checking in on us, giving advice and sending love
- the NHS – like, seriously. From pregnancy, to birth, to providing support and care for our ill bubba – they’re amazing.
- the discovery of the Miffy cartoon (on the Tiny Pop channel) – we’ve finally relaxed our NO TV thing when Adelyn stopped screaming, pointed and said “buh-buh” (that’s “bunny” to you and I) – the first time we’d heard her voice in days.
So here we are, it’s Easter Sunday and we think (hope) our little Miss A is finally recovering.
I would be so interested to hear tips on coping from fellow parents/care-givers – comment away 🙂
Fully deserve all the Easter chocolates in the world after this week.
Happy Easter y’all!