Being a Working Mum with Ill Babies

This past week has sucked, big time.

And yes, for the record I refer to our pug Coco as my baby. And my actual baby is still being called my baby even though she’s technically a toddler but I’m in denial.

Not only has Adelyn been ill, but Coco also had emergency surgery on Monday morning (tip: do NOT let your husband let your dog eat leftover corn on the cob as a treat – it will get stuck in their stomach and will get messy and painful).

So both girls have been in serious need of TLC.

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Coco’s nicely on the mend and is already back to being excited for meal times and gentle walks around the block. She’s been sitting next to Adelyn at every opportunity, almost protective-like.

With Adelyn – it’s “just” a cold virus but never in the past (almost) 15 months have I been so scared for our little one. A week on from the first symptoms and she’s had a temperature rising to 40.1C and dropping to 34.6C, hours of screaming in some sort of unknown agony, dwindling to non-existent appetite and refusing to drink anything but from the boob, many calls to 111 and an early morning trip to the Urgent Care Unit.

And I was dealing with that whilst working (from home).

So why am I writing this post? I guess I just wanted to reassure other working parents out there that it is shit and scary and stressful – y’know, safety in numbers, you’re not alone, sisterly solidarity whoo!

I’ve spent the past week feeling guilty for neglecting my team, and then guilty for neglecting my girls because I was worrying about neglecting my team, ad infinitum.

I spent nights and early mornings comforting Adelyn and fretting about tasks to get done for work for the next day.

Balancing my responsibilities at work and at home has been really tough. I’ve cried more than I have in a while out of sheer frustration – it’s been terrifying to see Adelyn’s little body lose weight and keep on top of emails (and in our company, there are an inordinate amount of emails that come in).

But it’s in these tough times that you gain perspective, and it makes you so grateful for all the things you usually take for granted.

I’ve missed her smile, her laughter, her voice, her naughty curiosity about everything. Do  you have any idea how much harder it is to change the nappy of a child that is thrashing around in extreme anger at the world for giving her nasty germs?? (Actually it’s not that different from a child that wants to roll away to explore, and will loudly indicate that she will not tolerate having a clean bottom if it means she has to stay still for 20 seconds)

These are the things I’m grateful for:

  • that my company allow me to work from home
  • that I’ve been able to offer comfort to my baby (for us, it’s breastfeeding)
  • that Adelyn and Coco have a doting father who will cuddle and feed and nurture them given any chance
  • that I live doors down from my Mum and her partner – giving me a break from cabin fever and feeding us – I have tremendous respect for single parents out there holding down a job with a sick little one – this past week would’ve been near impossible without them
  • that my dad came to cook a nutritious meal for us all after hearing that the girls were poorly
  • that I have some truly lovely friends out there checking in on us, giving advice and sending love
  • the NHS – like, seriously. From pregnancy, to birth, to providing support and care for our ill bubba – they’re amazing.
  • the discovery of the Miffy cartoon (on the Tiny Pop channel) – we’ve finally relaxed our NO TV thing when Adelyn stopped screaming, pointed and said “buh-buh” (that’s “bunny” to you and I) – the first time we’d heard her voice in days.

So here we are, it’s Easter Sunday and we think (hope) our little Miss A is finally recovering.

I would be so interested to hear tips on coping from fellow parents/care-givers – comment away 🙂

Fully deserve all the Easter chocolates in the world after this week.

Happy Easter y’all!

Kx

 

Things I Learned About Breastfeeding

This is my honest Ode To Breastfeeding. I’m not going to bother extolling the virtues of it because at the end of the day a fed and nourished baby is happy baby, regardless of breast or formula.

And for my guy friends – this’ll probably wander into TMI territory – you have been warned.

Tendu 100%

Throwback to a feed at 8 months old

At 14 months, Adelyn’s still getting breastmilk straight from the source (we really really tried but she just absolutely refused the bottle). Even though I’m back at work, and with her eight (!) teeth we still manage to get a morning and a bedtime feed in – I’m not in a rush to stop as I love the bonding time we get and I know it won’t last forever (because I have no intention of being GoT’s Lysa Arryn).

I’ve had some of my funniest, most memorable experiences of being a mum because of breastfeeding – from wandering outside with my nursing top still in feed position (i.e. exposed), to enjoying a walk in the woods with Adelyn dangling in her sling nursing happily. From leaky boob situations out in public (always wear a dark colour!) to now; prising her little hands away as they seek to pull my top down to get access.

I thought I’d read a lot of stuff to prepare for a baby before Adelyn came along and I was still surprised by so many things when it came to breastfeeding. Though I guess it was a nice surprise to discover that you (usually) don’t get your period if you’re Breastfeeding loads!

The Beginning:

We had to have a C-Section to give birth so I had the worry about skin-to-skin and not being able to breastfeed straight away – I’m so grateful that she didn’t sense any apprehension and simply suckered on for a good 40 minutes as soon as I was able to hold her to me.

A lot of the books talk about the importance of getting your milk supply up and maintaining it – I was so worried about “what if I can’t produce enough milk for my baby?”. So imagine my surprise as I realised really quickly that the opposite was actually possible; Overproduction.

Milk went EVERYWHERE.

My bra size went up to EE, which I didn’t even know was a thing.

When you’re feeding your newborn baby on demand every few hours and your milk is literally spraying all over said baby, do you realise how many time you have to change them into dry clothes?!

Breastfeeding Adelyn always meant frantic screaming for “more muslins!!”, many bibs, those milk cup collector things and even that wasn’t enough to stop my poor baby from getting soggy.

I went through so many breast pads, and I tried all the brands (from supermarket to eco-friendly to bamboo pads to branded) and can honestly say that Lansinoh are the best (this isn’t an ad by the way). They could absorb a stunning amount of liquid and stay dry against your skin whilst staying quite discrete.

The Let Down Reflex:

My biggest shock was that when you experience “let down” it happens in both boobs – i.e. your baby is suckling on one boob and as the milk starts coming out (basically of it’s own accord as a trickle or a stream or a downright watering-can-style-spray) it comes out of BOTH nips.

It felt weird too – like a pins and needles feeling. Kind of shocking because who the hell is used to having pins and needles in their jugs, for goodness sake.

Hearing Adelyn cry would sometime trigger my milk let down. Having a hot shower would also set them off. Literally spent at least the first 5 months of being a mum with SOMETHING held to my breasts.

A Favourite Breast:

As we had a C-Section, it made holding her bloody awkward in those first few weeks – thank goodness they come out tinyish.

For some reason Adelyn was fine feeding from Left but struggled to latch and would get frustrated about Right – which meant Left was making a lot more milk than Right and I was panicking. The Rugby Hold didn’t work too well (as a way to try to let her feed as if she was being held to the Left but actually feeding on the Right) and I was NOT impressed when the health visitor thought it’d be a great idea to nurse lying down sideways – how is a woman who’s stomach muscles have just been cut through supposed to sit back up again to wind the baby? With said newborn conked out next to her?!

We managed in the end though, through perseverance and improving the latch and my nifty pregnancy pillow turned feeding pillow. I did dread feeding from Right for what felt like an age but was probably more like 3-4 weeks.

Nipple Changes:

I now take it for granted that I’ve been able to breastfeed for a year now without much thought – she knows what to do and can basically attach herself from any angle. It’s not unless I stop and reminisce about the early days that I remember the extreme discomfort one’s nipples experience as they learn to get used to having a little being attached every few hours through the day (and night). I never had to use any balms but I do remember a hint of blood blistering and tenderness (it hurt to feel clothes against them FFS) – but thankfully that only lasted a couple of weeks and I barely remember it now.

They definitely got darker in colour too – I wonder if that’s to help the baby hone in on them…?

They go back to normal after a little while!

Pumping – Bloody Annoying:

After I discovered my alarmingly overzealous milk production in the form of poor Adelyn spluttering during her feeds, I found I had to pump a teeny bit before our night feeds (as she’d sleep for a little longer between feeds) to basically ease the pressure. I would also have to wake up in the middle of the night to pump even when she didn’t wake up for a feed because guess what? Breasts that are full of milk get pretty damn swollen and uncomfortable.

Top tip: a manual pump was easier than an electric one. That thing went with me everywhere at one point. On holiday, trips to the shopping mall – if I was out of the house and knew there was a chance that Adelyn would miss a feed, it was a boob-saver.

14 Months On:

Before I had Adelyn, I kind of figured I’d probably have stopped breastfeeding by 12 months. Yet a year went by and it still didn’t feel like it was time (even though 4 teeth had come through by then).

Yeah I have my days where I feel like this:

 

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From Bored Panda’s 10+ Animal Expressions That Sum Up Being A Mum

And sure, she’s developed a habit of sticking her other hand down my bra and slapping me mid-feed.

But hey – I don’t know how much longer she’ll want to come to me with her arms thrown wide – so I’ll happily go on for a bit longer.

Kx

Peak Mum Moment

I wanted to write an inspirational post in honour of it being international Women’s Day. Y’know; about being proud to be a woman and making a difference etc etc. 

What happened though was that I had the  messiest, most difficult time feeding my very own little lady her dinner tonight. She insisted on poking her tongue out after every other mouthful and basically made the action of washing her hands in her food bowl before throwing said hands in the air thus creating a confetti effect of macaroni bolognese. 

And then I had to jump back into work mode, as I’ve been working from home today. 

Oh and I cooked dinner.

HAVOC!!


Being a working mum ain’t easy. Being a working mum and working from home is like…the ultimate test of nerve, wits and patience haha…

I’m grateful that my other little (pug) lady was around to help me clean (read: eat) up the mess. 

I’m grateful that I have my own home in which to be a working mum within.

I’m grateful to have been blessed enough to have a little one, and to have the opportunity to raise a sassy, amazing little girl. 

I’m grateful for my own sassy, amazing mum. 

And I’m grateful for marrying an incredible man who supports me in my every effort to do awesome things. 

Peace and much love to all!

Kx

Oh Tantrums Have Arrived


I am now covered in tears, snot, semi-masticated apple and crumbs after dealing with my very first toddler meltdown. 

All because I dared to take a bite from my apple which I’d let her hold. 

How did I cope? 

  • Picked her up for a cuddle
  • Put her back down again as the screaming was REALLY loud in my face
  • Tried to give her the apple again to appease her apparent anger
  • Picked up the apple bits off the floor after she threw it in annoyance
  • Tried waving the alarm remote control dongle thing that she’s been eyeing up for ages at her
  • Sang really loudly 
  • Gave her her Bunny (poor Bunny is now just as messy as I am)
  • Gave her her favourite snack which stopped her cries for all of 10 seconds till she decided she didn’t like it anymore – then I knew I was in trouble 
  • Turned to the usual comforter int he form of my milk…

And peace is restored. For now…